Last night I was feeling very blue. I'm super sick of struggling and nothing ever changing. Last night I decided I have to take my life back. Poor health, poor finances,....... poor everything it would seem. I'm relying on others too much at this point for my joy, peace,.... And I'm still trying to make others happy all the time. I have so little peace and so little joy. I have moved away from only really caring about what God thinks and wants. Thanks to Robin (a friend) she helped me realize I care too much about things people say and do rather than what God thinks and wants. I'm sort of being a victim and imprisoned by what others think and do. No more! I need to remember who is most important (God) and tune out the rest. The hard part for me is first off having the courage and strength to not let others influence me and second being distracted and discouraged too easily. Good news is God really did make it easy for us. He gave us 2 commandments Love God with everything I have (heart, soul, mind, & strength Luke 10:27) and love my neighbors as myself. By simply going to Him and letting go of all and asking Him and allowing Him to do everything else all things are possible. And He'll do a much, much, much (can't say too many much's) better than I ever could. Now it's time to shut up and do it!
God grant me your strength, your boldness, your encouragement, your peace, your joy, your love all that you are to be the person you want me to be. Thank you for all that you have done and brought me through and all that you have taught me and bestowed upon me. God you are good. Help me not to be so terrified of suffering since it is part of following after you, only for a while and then the joy that comes afterwards I just know it's worthwhile. May I continue to be real and transparent to those around me unafraid of what they may think. And may I be a light through it all, pointing the way to you always. Thank you for your willingness to love and give all that you have though I know myself I don't deserve it. You make life bearable even when it doesn't seem so. I love you Lord. I ask these things in Jesus name, Amen.
Thanks for letting me speak out loud. I hope to have lots more in the future. Oh, by the way I highly recommend Beth Moore Living Beyond Yourself:Exploring the Fruit of the Spirit. It's a great study. So, for now my love to you all even if I'm talking to myself at this point. = ) Please feel free to comment, share your wisdom, or whatever you have in mind. Love hearing from you. Thanks again!